How Can God Help Me with My Children?

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Our children are our most precious possessions, yet they can completely frustrate and worry us sometimes. One moment they can be hugging us, laughing uncontrollably, and playing nicely with others, and the next moment they can be throwing tantrums, refusing to do homework, or staying out late doing things they should not be doing.

Every Child Is Different

We may feel like parental failures; we may have read all the guidebooks on raising healthy, well-rounded kids. We might look at other families with jealousy, as they seem to have it all together (yet that family most likely also has hidden issues and frustrations). We ask ourselves, Where did we go wrong? How can we help our sweet children grow into mature adults? There are no magic answers, and every child has his or her own unique abilities. There is no “normal” child. Some children have health issues, social anxieties, and learning, developmental, or neurodevelopmental disorders. Some children are sporty, and some love academics; some love art, and some love numbers. Diversity is beautiful, yet sometimes even this diversity adds to our concerns for our kids.

God Knows and Loves Every Child

The Bible reassures us that we can take these concerns to God, for he loves and cares for our children even more than we do. Psalm 139 says the Lord formed us and knows us completely: “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:1-2, 13–14). God made no mistakes when he formed our children, and nothing they do surprises him.

Sharing God with Our Children

God wants us to have a relationship with him and to radiate our love for him in our homes. When we operate our homes according to biblical values, our children will notice. Some ways we can do this include playing worship music at home, watching faith-based shows like Superbook or Veggie Tales, reading bedtime Bible stories, and attending a congregation with a children’s program. Our children will learn to react to hard and challenging situations with the biblical tools we teach them.

At Passover and other biblical holidays, we are reminded to teach biblical truths to our children, in hopes that they too will teach these truths to their children. The Shema, the Jewish declaration of faith found in Deuteronomy 6:4–9, says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Scripture challenges us as parents to raise our kids to be kind, godly, loving, and helpful individuals. Since our children often reflect our behavior, we may need to change ourselves, which takes effort, awareness and patience. We must aim to mirror, imitate, and share God’s image. We want to reflect his love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Simple ways to begin include spending time reading a verse or a chapter in the Bible, asking the Lord for help, and spending time with other families who reflect these ideas.

Jesus Loves Children

One passage of Scripture that embodies God’s heart toward children is Matthew 19:13–14. In it, Jesus was busy teaching a crowd when children were brought to him. The disciples rebuked those who brought the children to Jesus since they thought he was too busy. Jesus responded, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (v. 14). He blessed the children and spent time with them in the middle of his work. In essence, they interrupted him. Jesus had things to do and teach, but he knew how important they were. They wanted his attention, love, time, and touch. Our children want the same from us. May we imitate the actions of Jesus in how he loved the children. Let us feel their hugs, listen to their laughter, and see their joy as they grow closer to him who loves them and made them.